The Day I Was Almost Saved
I stared out the window, feeling a bit uneasy. It was 7:30 Sunday morning 1982, I was only 11 years old. She said the bus would come between 7 and 9 in the morning. Why the heck did I agree to this? She was older than me and had a way about her. She was very sure of herself and could be very convincing. A Baptist church? What was I thinking? My free day off and I agreed to go to her Baptist church. She whined about getting some kind of prize if I would go. I probably would have jumped off my roof if she said I would be alright. What a beautiful sunny day, and here I am waiting for a church bus to pick me up. At least she'll be on it, perhaps it won't be all bad.
There it was. Just like my regular school bus, except it slowly crept up the road as if trying to sneak up on unsuspecting children and scoop them away to be saved. I walked quickly to my doom and boarded the yellow monster. I stood in the main isle looking for Linda. I wondered why she couldn't see me.
"Have you been saved" a voice startled me from my right side.
I turned to look at him. There was no one there. Just this little six year old nerdy looking kid with coke bottle glasses. He was squinting through his glasses trying to size me up. His eyes were just a blur through those one inch thick glasses. I imagined that I must have looked just as blurry to those eyes.
He barked out "Jesus has brought you here for salvation, have you accepted him as your personal savior?".
It was him, it was this little nerdy kid preaching with the tone of a 50 year old T.V. evangelist. I was embarrassed, I wasn't ready just yet to answer these types of questions. I figured I had a whole bus ride to work them out. This six year old nerd was possessed by Satan himself waiting for my reply. There was no way a six year old could speak with this type of authority and conviction. I quickly found a seat since it was obvious that Linda was not on this bus, not to mention I needed to remove myself from this boy turned Satan's attention. We rode around literally for two and a half hours. Going from town to town picking up unsuspecting children. A collection of young souls in need of reprimand from a six year old biblical scholar. He preached the whole time. When I say preached, I mean standing up on the front seat, facing the rest of us, bible in one hand, waving about the other hand, yelling and hollering, preaching. At times it was fascinating to watch him. It was kinda like watching a six year old prodigy play the piano fluently. Until he turned his attention toward me, then I just looked away hoping he would forget I was there.
From time to time he would ask a question like "are you ready to accept Jesus into your heart", and then stare at some poor kid waiting for a response.
Usually the kid would look at the ground praying to God to make this Dameon character leave him alone. After a short pause with no answer he would go on preaching.
We finally arrived at the church. Still no Linda, but I managed to sit down in the middle of the pews. A woman sang a song in the middle of the service, to which the pastor replied "If tapping my foot is a sin, God may stike me down". I don't know why that sticks out in my head, I think it was because they don't listen to any music that has a beat. I remember thinking, why was it ok for him to tap his foot? Then came time for salvation. See, its not good enough for you to just accept Jesus in your own mind. You must make a big presntation about it by going up and kneeling in front of the whole church. Somehow their approval is needed. They need to see you do it. You can't just go home and be saved. You must do it under their authority. The pastor went on and on about how this is the only way one gets to heaven. And once you are saved it doesn't matter what happens after that, you are going to heaven. Even if you kill someone every 30 seconds for the next 50 years it doesn't matter. So long as you kneeled in front of everyone at the Baptist church in Halifax MA, your entry into heaven is certain. As long as you mean it at the time. Ten minutes from then you can have a change of heart and start urinating on every person you kill, it doesn't matter.
So they slowly went up. One here, one there. People started to go up and kneel at the alter. It was strange that everyone did not go up at once. It was if the more he preached about it the more people would go up. He stared right at me for most of the time he was preaching about being saved, and how if we were not saved, we needed to go up to avoid the flames of hell. I was nervous, should I go up? Technically I was already saved by Linda, in our own little ceremony, but I am not sure that qualifies now. It did at the time, I mean that I really did mean it. He is staring right at me, with an angry look on his face. Preaching harder and harder about being saved. How this may be the one opportunity. How important it is that I go right now! A boy about my age sitting right in front of me looked back at me. Then he stood up and went up to the alter an knelt. He was braver than I. The pastor kept his eyes on me waiting to see if I would go up. By now I was terrified. I really did not want to join this cult, but I didn't want to go to hell either. I stood my ground, and finally, he proceeded with saving everyone at the alter and removed his glare from me.
After the service, I thought to myself that finally this was over. I started to walk to the door. I was met by Linda and her family before I got there. "Ready for Sunday school" she said. I let her know how upset I was she wasn't on the bus. She gave me some lame excuse. Then I was whisked off to Sunday school class. I was led to a small classroom. I reluctantly went in. Inside were about 20 or so kids around my age sitting in metal folding chairs. Each one had his own bible. I sat down.
The kid sitting next to me asked "where's your bible?".
I remember thinking, Why does everyone have bibles? Man, I am just a kid, I don't have my own bible. At my own church, Sunday school just gives us the jist of it. I never needed my own bible.
The teacher who seemed nice enough, lent me his bible. At the front of the room there was a table with a bunch of books on it.
The teacher said "you guys know the deal whoever gets the most points gets any one of the prizes (he was referring to the books)
"This week we have a new one called such and such" the teacher descibed as he held up a book from the table.
Several kids murmured with excitement as he showed the book. One kid rattled off that he wanted a different book and that the new one did not please him. They were all religious books. Some of the titles I did not even understand. But the room stirred with excitement from certain kids (perhaps the ones that were good at whatever game we were going to play).
"Ready?" the teacher warned.
Then he looked over at me realizing that I did not even know what was happening.
So he quickly explained "I will say a bible book and phrase number, and whoever looks it up first gets a point.
The teacher called out "Exodus 3:11"
Just as the teacher started to open his mouth, the same kids that murmured with excitement at the new prize (which was most of them), stood up. So fast that their chairs would push behind them. Some stood right on their chairs in a kneeling fashion for extra speed. While they were in motion to stand up they were flipping through their bibles with lighting speed. The sound of ultra thin bible pages being slapped around filled the room, an electric flurry of biblical excitement. Before the teacher could even finish saying the peticular books name and verse, one of the kids was already starting to read the passage. It was really quite amazing. I was also quite intimidated. I did not even know that Genisis was the first book in the old testament, let alone find a passage as quick as these kids could. They must have practiced all week long, as if bible verse finding was an Olympic sport, and Sunday was bible Olympics.
The teacher looked over at me, closed bible on my lap, eyes wide in amazement. I could see some empathy in his eyes, but he knew the show had to go on.
"You'll catch on" he sympathized,"these guys have been doing this for a while."
He spoke on whatever verse he rattled out for several minutes, most of which somehow related to being saved. Regardless of the true meaning, not that I knew what that was.
As the class went on and certain kids checklist grew longer than others (All names were on a chalkboard with hash marks next to it,).
I got to the point where I was just flipping pages around to try and look like I was going to eventually suprize everyone with a hash mark next to my name (yeah right). Sometimes they were so fast that I knew it was completely impossible to find the page that quick. They must have had the verse memorized and as they started to recite it, they found the verse at the same time. There was no other explanation!
From time to time, two kids would start reading almost simultaneously. Of course a small debate would start over who was first. Usually the teacher would give them both a point.
How was this possible? How was it possible to find a verse in the bible so quickly? I am not exaggerating when I say 2 seconds flat! They could find any verse in two seconds. The ones that took 2.5 seconds, did not get a point. I had trouble getting the cover open before some kid would start to recite the correct verse.
When it was all over, there was clearly one boy who had many more points than the rest of them. He bragged as he went to pick out his prize (book). He looked very familiar to me. He grabbed the book with no wasted time, as if he already knew which one he wanted. He took much pleasure as the others complained about his weekly triumphs. He was no stranger to being the victor in this strange verse finding game.
I realized why he looked so familiar. He was the kid sitting in front of me that went up to be saved during the service. I can be a very nieve person. I thought to myself - why does a kid that has obviously come here many many times, just now need to be saved? On my first trip here the pastor practially forced me to be saved by staring at me the whole time and practically saying my name while he preached people up to the alter. Why did this kid have to wait until today?
After Sunday school I met up with Linda and her parents. She asked my how I liked it. I did not say anything. I really wanted to give her an ear full, but it wasn't the time or place. I could not resist asking about the kid in Sunday school though. I needed to know why he wasn't saved until today. Linda avoided the question.
I begged Lindas mother for a ride home to avoid the dreaded bus ride. I could not take two and a half more hours of little nerdy wonder boys preaching. The highlight of this trip was not having to take the bus back home. On the ride home, I again asked Linda about the boy in Sunday school class. She was still avoiding the question, but then her dad confessed that sometimes people that have already been saved sometimes go up and kneel at the alter to try and make it more comfortable for others to go up.
Now it hit me. The kid looked back at me with a friendly smile and then went up. He was bait for me!. Did they actually discuss this prior to the service? Or was it just improve? Something the kid decided on his own? Did his parent tell him to do it? Is this something they discuss as a group? Was he the pastors son? Either way, the deception of it really bothered me. Is being saved not enough by itself that the only way one will go up is if he feels his peers are joining him. Or is it just so important that even coupled with deception it is OK. It just needs to be done. What if they had to rob a bank to get me to go up, would they? Perhaps trick me into thinking that I won some kind of prize that must be claimed by kneeling at the alter. If they really wanted to trick me into going up, they should have told me if I didn't, I would have to endure another bus ride with Super Six year old Preacher boy.
There it was. Just like my regular school bus, except it slowly crept up the road as if trying to sneak up on unsuspecting children and scoop them away to be saved. I walked quickly to my doom and boarded the yellow monster. I stood in the main isle looking for Linda. I wondered why she couldn't see me.
"Have you been saved" a voice startled me from my right side.
I turned to look at him. There was no one there. Just this little six year old nerdy looking kid with coke bottle glasses. He was squinting through his glasses trying to size me up. His eyes were just a blur through those one inch thick glasses. I imagined that I must have looked just as blurry to those eyes.
He barked out "Jesus has brought you here for salvation, have you accepted him as your personal savior?".
It was him, it was this little nerdy kid preaching with the tone of a 50 year old T.V. evangelist. I was embarrassed, I wasn't ready just yet to answer these types of questions. I figured I had a whole bus ride to work them out. This six year old nerd was possessed by Satan himself waiting for my reply. There was no way a six year old could speak with this type of authority and conviction. I quickly found a seat since it was obvious that Linda was not on this bus, not to mention I needed to remove myself from this boy turned Satan's attention. We rode around literally for two and a half hours. Going from town to town picking up unsuspecting children. A collection of young souls in need of reprimand from a six year old biblical scholar. He preached the whole time. When I say preached, I mean standing up on the front seat, facing the rest of us, bible in one hand, waving about the other hand, yelling and hollering, preaching. At times it was fascinating to watch him. It was kinda like watching a six year old prodigy play the piano fluently. Until he turned his attention toward me, then I just looked away hoping he would forget I was there.
From time to time he would ask a question like "are you ready to accept Jesus into your heart", and then stare at some poor kid waiting for a response.
Usually the kid would look at the ground praying to God to make this Dameon character leave him alone. After a short pause with no answer he would go on preaching.
We finally arrived at the church. Still no Linda, but I managed to sit down in the middle of the pews. A woman sang a song in the middle of the service, to which the pastor replied "If tapping my foot is a sin, God may stike me down". I don't know why that sticks out in my head, I think it was because they don't listen to any music that has a beat. I remember thinking, why was it ok for him to tap his foot? Then came time for salvation. See, its not good enough for you to just accept Jesus in your own mind. You must make a big presntation about it by going up and kneeling in front of the whole church. Somehow their approval is needed. They need to see you do it. You can't just go home and be saved. You must do it under their authority. The pastor went on and on about how this is the only way one gets to heaven. And once you are saved it doesn't matter what happens after that, you are going to heaven. Even if you kill someone every 30 seconds for the next 50 years it doesn't matter. So long as you kneeled in front of everyone at the Baptist church in Halifax MA, your entry into heaven is certain. As long as you mean it at the time. Ten minutes from then you can have a change of heart and start urinating on every person you kill, it doesn't matter.
So they slowly went up. One here, one there. People started to go up and kneel at the alter. It was strange that everyone did not go up at once. It was if the more he preached about it the more people would go up. He stared right at me for most of the time he was preaching about being saved, and how if we were not saved, we needed to go up to avoid the flames of hell. I was nervous, should I go up? Technically I was already saved by Linda, in our own little ceremony, but I am not sure that qualifies now. It did at the time, I mean that I really did mean it. He is staring right at me, with an angry look on his face. Preaching harder and harder about being saved. How this may be the one opportunity. How important it is that I go right now! A boy about my age sitting right in front of me looked back at me. Then he stood up and went up to the alter an knelt. He was braver than I. The pastor kept his eyes on me waiting to see if I would go up. By now I was terrified. I really did not want to join this cult, but I didn't want to go to hell either. I stood my ground, and finally, he proceeded with saving everyone at the alter and removed his glare from me.
After the service, I thought to myself that finally this was over. I started to walk to the door. I was met by Linda and her family before I got there. "Ready for Sunday school" she said. I let her know how upset I was she wasn't on the bus. She gave me some lame excuse. Then I was whisked off to Sunday school class. I was led to a small classroom. I reluctantly went in. Inside were about 20 or so kids around my age sitting in metal folding chairs. Each one had his own bible. I sat down.
The kid sitting next to me asked "where's your bible?".
I remember thinking, Why does everyone have bibles? Man, I am just a kid, I don't have my own bible. At my own church, Sunday school just gives us the jist of it. I never needed my own bible.
The teacher who seemed nice enough, lent me his bible. At the front of the room there was a table with a bunch of books on it.
The teacher said "you guys know the deal whoever gets the most points gets any one of the prizes (he was referring to the books)
"This week we have a new one called such and such" the teacher descibed as he held up a book from the table.
Several kids murmured with excitement as he showed the book. One kid rattled off that he wanted a different book and that the new one did not please him. They were all religious books. Some of the titles I did not even understand. But the room stirred with excitement from certain kids (perhaps the ones that were good at whatever game we were going to play).
"Ready?" the teacher warned.
Then he looked over at me realizing that I did not even know what was happening.
So he quickly explained "I will say a bible book and phrase number, and whoever looks it up first gets a point.
The teacher called out "Exodus 3:11"
Just as the teacher started to open his mouth, the same kids that murmured with excitement at the new prize (which was most of them), stood up. So fast that their chairs would push behind them. Some stood right on their chairs in a kneeling fashion for extra speed. While they were in motion to stand up they were flipping through their bibles with lighting speed. The sound of ultra thin bible pages being slapped around filled the room, an electric flurry of biblical excitement. Before the teacher could even finish saying the peticular books name and verse, one of the kids was already starting to read the passage. It was really quite amazing. I was also quite intimidated. I did not even know that Genisis was the first book in the old testament, let alone find a passage as quick as these kids could. They must have practiced all week long, as if bible verse finding was an Olympic sport, and Sunday was bible Olympics.
The teacher looked over at me, closed bible on my lap, eyes wide in amazement. I could see some empathy in his eyes, but he knew the show had to go on.
"You'll catch on" he sympathized,"these guys have been doing this for a while."
He spoke on whatever verse he rattled out for several minutes, most of which somehow related to being saved. Regardless of the true meaning, not that I knew what that was.
As the class went on and certain kids checklist grew longer than others (All names were on a chalkboard with hash marks next to it,).
I got to the point where I was just flipping pages around to try and look like I was going to eventually suprize everyone with a hash mark next to my name (yeah right). Sometimes they were so fast that I knew it was completely impossible to find the page that quick. They must have had the verse memorized and as they started to recite it, they found the verse at the same time. There was no other explanation!
From time to time, two kids would start reading almost simultaneously. Of course a small debate would start over who was first. Usually the teacher would give them both a point.
How was this possible? How was it possible to find a verse in the bible so quickly? I am not exaggerating when I say 2 seconds flat! They could find any verse in two seconds. The ones that took 2.5 seconds, did not get a point. I had trouble getting the cover open before some kid would start to recite the correct verse.
When it was all over, there was clearly one boy who had many more points than the rest of them. He bragged as he went to pick out his prize (book). He looked very familiar to me. He grabbed the book with no wasted time, as if he already knew which one he wanted. He took much pleasure as the others complained about his weekly triumphs. He was no stranger to being the victor in this strange verse finding game.
I realized why he looked so familiar. He was the kid sitting in front of me that went up to be saved during the service. I can be a very nieve person. I thought to myself - why does a kid that has obviously come here many many times, just now need to be saved? On my first trip here the pastor practially forced me to be saved by staring at me the whole time and practically saying my name while he preached people up to the alter. Why did this kid have to wait until today?
After Sunday school I met up with Linda and her parents. She asked my how I liked it. I did not say anything. I really wanted to give her an ear full, but it wasn't the time or place. I could not resist asking about the kid in Sunday school though. I needed to know why he wasn't saved until today. Linda avoided the question.
I begged Lindas mother for a ride home to avoid the dreaded bus ride. I could not take two and a half more hours of little nerdy wonder boys preaching. The highlight of this trip was not having to take the bus back home. On the ride home, I again asked Linda about the boy in Sunday school class. She was still avoiding the question, but then her dad confessed that sometimes people that have already been saved sometimes go up and kneel at the alter to try and make it more comfortable for others to go up.
Now it hit me. The kid looked back at me with a friendly smile and then went up. He was bait for me!. Did they actually discuss this prior to the service? Or was it just improve? Something the kid decided on his own? Did his parent tell him to do it? Is this something they discuss as a group? Was he the pastors son? Either way, the deception of it really bothered me. Is being saved not enough by itself that the only way one will go up is if he feels his peers are joining him. Or is it just so important that even coupled with deception it is OK. It just needs to be done. What if they had to rob a bank to get me to go up, would they? Perhaps trick me into thinking that I won some kind of prize that must be claimed by kneeling at the alter. If they really wanted to trick me into going up, they should have told me if I didn't, I would have to endure another bus ride with Super Six year old Preacher boy.
posted by Jim Fisher at 12:58 PM
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