The idea that religion and politics don't mix, was an idea created by the devil to keep Christians from running their own country - The pastor (who eventually becomes evil) from the HBO series , CARNIVAL

Grades

"I love my life" - Danielle Fisher 1/30/2007

When your a parent, you have a dream for your children. Many of us want our children to be successful. Get good grades in high school, go to college, get a good job. Maybe a doctor, or a lawyer. How do you measure the quality of your parenting? Perhaps their current grades? Whether or not they stay out of trouble? When you have a 15 year old it can be very tough to know if your doing a good job. I try not to be too invasive. 15 year olds need their privacy. But I still insist on knowing whats going on in her life, although I usually get one word answers, or just an "I don't know". For the most part she is already an adult. Who she is now is really a function of the first 12 or 13 years of her life, although she occasionally needs to be turned in the right direction.
I worry. I mean I really worry. Did I read to her enough? Did I help her with her homework enough? Do I give her too much room to breathe? Not enough? Do I spend enough time with her? Do I tell her "I love you" enough? Does she know how important she is to me? With all the attention we give to our 15 month twins, does my 15 year old get enough of our attention? Does she know we still love her just the same?

On the way home from Walmart tonight, one of her favorite songs came on the radio.

"I love my life" she said

"Do you really mean that?" I asked

"yeah" she said honestly

"Do you really love yourself, do you really love who you've become?" I asked

"yeah" she said with the same honesty

"Then that's all that matters" I reassured her.

Fact is, I don't really care so much if Danielle becomes a doctor or a McDonald's manager. What I do worry about is that Danielle is happy. I mean really happy. Danielle does love herself, and for that I give my wife and I an A+

It's Time!!!!

Although I am a huge Patriots and Redsox fan, I try not to write too many post about sports since it cuts off many readers that are not sports fans. Unfortunately the excitement that is brewing here in New England is too much for me to ignore. I suffered through the 80's and 90's watching my beloved Patriots having nothing but loosing seasons. They managed to make it to two superbowls and lost both. Now that the Patriots are making history with 3 Superbowl wins in just 4 years and are now going for 4 wins in 6 years, I am living it up, because I realize how lucky we are. I know the day will return when Bill Belichek and Tom Brady are gone and it we will be just like every other NFL franchise.
There is just one obstacle that could keep us from going to Florida for the Superbowl on Feb 4th, that is the Indianapolis Colts. They have put away teams this year like it is nothing doing. They did not even loose a game until more than halfway through the season. And most of all they have the best quaterback in the NFL, Payton Manning! This man will beat every one of Dan Marinos records. Calling him a phenom is an understatement. Catching his miracle passes is another one of NFLs best, Marvin Harrison, who many consider one of the best to ever play the game. He is right up there with Rice. These two lead the league in Touchdowns. They have more touchdown with just each other than any other quaterback has period (including all their receivers put together). Payton Manning has it all - the records, the receivers, the ability to call his own plays. You name it, Payton has it. Except there is one thing Payton manning does not have that Tom Brady does have,.....Three Superbowl rings. Why is that? Well there are several reasons. One is the Patriots have a better coach, in fact they have the best coach in the NFL. Another is that Payton Makes a lot more money than Tom Brady, so the Patriots have more money to spend on other players. When Tom Brady signed his second contract, he just came off his second Superbowl win and could have easily been the top payed player in the NFL, but he decided he wanted to leave the Patriots more money so they could sign better players (under the NFL salary cap). Many said Tom was foolish for not demanding more money.
Those things aside, here is most important reason Tom Brady wins Superbowls and Payton Manning Does not,... . . . . Leadership. What the heck does that mean? Yeah you gotta lead by example and work hard and all that, but I am sure Payton does all that. Here is an example of real leadership. When Payton Mannings Colts lost their playoff game last year and Payton had his post game conference. He stood up at the microphone and complained that the reason they lost was that his offensive linemen did not play good enough, therefore he could not get his passes off correctly. When the Patriots lost to Denver in the playoffs last year, Tom Brady stood at the microphone and told the media that "I just did not play good enough.....I didn't make the plays that needed to be made". This is what a leader does. When you win, you give credit to your team. When you loose, you take the credit for the loss.
This is why when the Patriots play the Colts tomorrow to decide which team will represent the AFC in the Superbowl. You will see the Patriots walk away victors. They have a locker room stacked with leaders. Got a couple of extra bucks? Better not bet on the Colts! Anyone want me to put my money where my mouth is, just leave a comment and I will bet you.

He was my friend

He handed me a half pint of Jack Daniels. That was his drink, strait up, no need for mixers. I prefered beer. Not just piss beer like Budweiser, but a good lager like Samual Adams (before they got big and it was still brewed in Boston). Hard liquer was not my thing, but he handed it to me as if we were tough guys in some western movie, so I took it from him, tilted my head back and tried to be a movie star. The thin warm liquid made it about half way down my throat before my esophogus closed shut. I gagged most of it right back up and it landed on the sand in front of me. Whatever didn't seep into the sand the tide quickly washed away. It was a beautiful 3 a.m. on the beach in New England . The sound of the slightly cool breeze and the sound of the waves crashing mixed in between each other as if protecting each other from being completely identified. We laughed over my inability to swallow even one swig. "I just can't stomach it dude" I said handing back his bottle. He took his bottle back and guzzled a good shot, then laughed again while I sucked down a beer to get rid of the taste. We were the only two on the beach. It was if it was our piece of Gods earth, as if he built it just for us. Our fishing poles dug in would bounce from time to time fooling us into checking our bait, but when stripers hit there is no question, and we knew that. It was almost just to go through the motions. Fishing can't be just all waiting. But thats just what we did most of the time....wait. The wait was half the fun. We talked, drank, smoked, smoked joints, drank, talked and smoked some more and drank some more. This was a sport we were well in shape for. We found this place together. Saquish was the name. It was almost an island except for the 4 mile road the led to it. Thats what Saquish was, a big sandy island only connected to mainland by a 100 yard wide, 4 mile long strip of beach with a road in the middle. At high tide it was perhaps only 50 yards wide. There were a hundred or so houses on Saquish, most of them cotteges. It was a piece of New England treasure. In order to go there you had to either live there or be on a guest list. there was a guard at the end of the 4 mile road that would check your I.D.
Steve met someone that introduced us to another man that was one of the few people to live there year round. We all quickly hit it off and next thing Steve and I were on the guest list and could fish there all we pleased. We fished there as often as we could. Sometimes reeling in striped bass, sometimes not, but everytime we inhaled the Saquish air we savoured it. Breathing in that air was like breathing life itself. Having Saquish rights was something Steve and I cherished. We cherished fishing itself. We grew up together Steve and I. Many things changed over time. The only thing that never changed in our lives was our shared love for fishing.
This pericular night we caught only one small striper, too small to keep. It was very dark, no moon at all. Sight was limited, but the other senses were so occupied they were crowded. As it got light, it showed to be an overcast day. We made it. It was if the daybreak gave us our mission completed sign. We said we were going to pull an overnighter and now we did. We packed our gear and left.
This trip was not unlike many others. Not much excitement. Although occasionally we had beautiful fish to show or a crazy story to tell. For just now I will keep them to myself. Perhaps to share later. Steve was my freind, I guess my best friend for some time. We were like brothers growing up. I called his mother "Ma". I slept at his house more than mine in the summer. There isn't a lake or a beach on the south shore we haven't fished. We had days of reeling in huge bluefish one after another out at Rays Point from a 28 foot sportfisher, getting burned by the noon sun and not even knowing it. We had days of standing in the rain beside a small pond we never fished before with no more than a nibble, but we had to try it out.
One time he called me at 10:30 at night. He was 15, I was 16.

"I know where there is a Quad" he said with excitement.

"What do you mean, you know where there is a Quad?" I asked

"I'll get my mothers car, and pick you up" Steve rushed

"Umm.......alright, I'll get ready" I agreed,

Within minutes he was in the driveway with his mothers car and off we went. We drove about 25 minutes to some dirt road in the middle of nowhere in Plymouth. Sure enough, about 50 yards in the woods there was a four wheeler, but it had 4 flat tires. We stuffed the Quad in the trunk. We had no rope or ties and it barely fit half way in. the other half hung over the back bumper. Here we were driving a stolen Quad hanging by a thread out of the back of his mothers car that he was driving with no license. We made it back and really enjoyed that quad over the next few years.
The night before I left for the Air force, Steve and I had one last horrah on that quad. We got good and drunk and rather than drive it down the sand pits like usual, we drove the quad all over town right down the middle of every street all through the night. Steve drove and I hung on for life. We drove down to a fancy neighborhood in Duxbury, and did donuts on the front lawn of the nicest house we could find. One house he kept ripping up their lawn so long a man started to come out side and chase us. While he was screaming at us (and I am sure his wife was calling the police) Steve ran over a newly planted bush in the middle of the front yard. The bush pulled right out of the ground and got wedged under the quad. So now we're dragging this guys bush around his front yard and the bush is literally tearing up all the grass in the front yard. In the Mean time we were laughing so hard we could barely hold on while this guy chased us around his own front yard.

I have a hundered stories of trouble that Steve and I caused. We won't be making anymore. Steve died last week and I just found out this morning. I haven't seen him in a couple of years. It came time for me to straighten out. Steve still had some unfinished buisiness I guess. He left behind a baby that I never met. In fact I just found out about the baby today as well. Perhaps I will get to see the baby tomorrow at the wake. Funny how I haven't seen him in so long yet I am still hurting like it was yesterday. Steve was only 33 years old. He was my friend. At one time he was my very best friend. technically we are even blood brothers. I never took that oath with anyone else. Yeah we were just kids sticking a needle in our hands, but he was my brother. I will miss you Steve. May God bless you and keep you.

Freeze the Fluid?

Scientist have discovered yet another type of stem cell. This new type is found in amniotic fluid and perhaps holds the most promise of any stem cell to date. Current stem cells that do not come from embryos were once labled unipotent since it was thought they were only capable of becomming peticular types of cells. Embryonic stem cells were labeled pluripotent since they have the capability to become any type of cell in the human body. Now the label of unipotent for adult stem cells is blurring. Since they have been used in regenerative therapies, and have even helped repair spinal chord injuries among many other amazing accomplishments. I have made this point several times and won't bore you with more of the same. Except that I kind of have to, because this latest type of stem cell is even more pluripotent that other types of adult stem cells in that it has already been grown into different types of cells like heart tissue.

At a heart research conference in November, Swiss researcher Simon Hoerstrup said he managed to turn amniotic fluid stem cells into heart cells that could be grown into replacement valves. Hoerstrup has yet to publish his work in a scientific journal.

Making it very promising to quickly be used in tissue replacement therapies. Don't be surprized when you hear that not only should you be freezing your babies chord blood, but now the amniotic fluid as well.

Nonetheless, Daley said, the discovery shouldn't be used as a replacement for human embryonic stem cell research.

Of course not, why stop being controversal. I am not the type of person that makes claims that God is trying to send a message with this or that (like people usually do with natural disasters and such), but I have to wonder here. We keep getting discoveries that show us non-embrionic stem cells are or will perform miracles. Yet the embrionic stem cell doesn't accomplish squat! If you are an athiestic scientist, at least let statistics rule rather than the promise of a failed pursuit in embrionic research. Go with what works. I wonder where stem cell research would be today if every dollar and effort put into embrionic stem cell research was put into adult stem cell research?

"While they are fascinating subjects of study in their own right, they are not a substitute for human embryonic stem cells, which allow scientists to address a host of other interesting questions in early human development," said Daley, who began work last year to clone human embryos to produce stem cells.

Notice he doesn't say that ESC research will save lives or some breakthrough will be made. I watch this subject as close as I can. I have noticed this shift in what scientists say about ESC research now. The late ninties we had to kill embryos because it was going to give us spare livers and noone would die of heart failure anymore. Now, with years of research on ESCs and not one usable discovery to treat any disease, scientist have made a shift in why we need to conduct this research. And yes folks it has come down from saving lives to learning about early human development.
If you think a blastocyst is not even life so you don't care if we kill them. Keep this in mind, many of us do think they are life, since we all started out as one. With absolutly no advantage to this research, are you just doing it to piss off the rest of us. Thats good science?

Night Time Bliss

She likes to navigate from one end to the other of our huge rap around sectional leather couch. Josh and Lilly (14 month twins) play on the floor for most of the day with their loads of toys littered about the den, but night time is different. After their last bottle we let them up on the couch. Yeah from time to time one of em takes a dive. The 22 inch drop to the floor usually scares them more than it hurts them. They gotta learn about gravity somehow.
As I daze off into the soft glow of T.V., suddenly two elbows appear on my lap. She crawls over then props her elbows on me, then her head rests on her hands as if she were sitting at a kitchen table. She tells me soft little phrases with all the meaning of an Edgar Alan Poe short. Her voice is a voice of soft song, she has this way of almost singing her little syllabils in the form of a question. Her expression changes as to await my response to her question. Just as I am ready to respond she interupts with more. this time as if to instruct me. She pats me on the chest slow and steady as if to say "Its Ok, everything will be alright". Then scoots away to the corner section and sits against the back. She starts to bounce forward and back using the back cushion to propel her bounce. One time she bounced so hard she went flying right out of her seat, through the air and landed face first on the floor two whole feet from the couch without touching anything. I mean she gets bouncing. The look on her face as if she's on a roller coaster. Then she crawls back to me, elbows back on me. And tells me about her day through little chirps of female baby coo. This time the peacefull story is interupted by a baby boy with a purpose. He just crawls right on top of her to get over her onto my belly, doesn't even hear her crying and complaining. Just uses her face to get one last push with his foot. He crawls right over me with the utmost of ease. Then crawls right up the back of the couch using me as a step ladder (literally). I look back. He is standing on the back of the couch holding onto the top of the lower window frame (window is directly behind couch). He makes his declaration of self satisfaction "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE" in a high pitched baby voice. He sings it out for the whole world to hear "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE"., Like Tarzan after wrestling a gorilla. I hold my hand lightly on his back so he doesn't fall down, but he never needs my support. Its more for me than him. I keep my hand there while I face forward to watch Lilly. Suddenly I feel him go up so that my hand is over his bum rather than his back. How could he go up any more? he is already standing on the back of the couch, but he did. I look back and he has both feet now on the window sill. the sill is not wide enough to support his feet so he turns them a full 90 degrees like a pengin to fit his feet on the window sill and hangs there arms and legs spread. He lets out another yell of satisfactory accomplishment "EEEEEEEEEE". He cries and cries as I pull him down off his mountain of accomplishment.
I read them some Dr Seuss. The only thing that will keep Josh still. I can't help but think to myself how fortunate I am. Sometimes waiting for trajedy to strike in some form so my payment can be made. You must have to pay for this bliss in some form. I miss you Hope, Faith and Seth. I will see you again someday. We shall all be together on one big couch.