Never Forget

I remember before she was pregnant. I would see a cute baby and say "look Jen, isn't she a little cutie". Jen wouldn't reply. The loss of her babies never far from her thoughts. Eventually I learned to just look on my own and not mention it. Only one thing would help her to heal. A baby! it wouldn't take away her pain, but the combination of pain and longing mixed together was more than she could handle and still be happy. I wondered how she would exsist if it never happened. I tried to picture years of waking at 2 a.m. to her tears, with no ability to console her. I felt like praying was useless. If this was Gods plan, what was I to do about it? I felt as if praying was just a futile attempt to change Gods mind. These were dark times, like the never ending rain of our current weather.
Sometimes God gives you exactly what you need. I think I forgot to thank him yesterday for Lillian and Joshua, so perhaps writing it today will make up for it.

Thankyou God