Stomach Ache

He was in some type of pain.
Holding his small body against my chest.
Kicking, screaming, he doesn't understand it.
Walking in circles changes his scenery, helps him forget.
Soon sharp pains return and remind him. He looks to me for help
My eyes tear up.
I want him to know his pain hurts me too.
With his every scream my rib cage curls in and punctures my lungs.
Making it hard for me to breath. Breath out any words that might have comfort.
He so tired now, but his alarm clock belly wont shut off, just keeps beeping.
He has yet to commit his first sin, but one is committed against him. This is how the world is Josh. Sometimes we are put through what we don't deserve. Sooner or later we all deserve it. But not tonight Josh. Tonight you are paying for my sins.
Finally..... sleep little boy. I will stand over you

Morning comes, mother bends over the crib to show you her face. Your amnesia smile, innocence restored. No memories of bacteria belly's. Just the familiar woman with love in her voice.

Drakes Cakes are yummy (but don't add up)

The Drake equation? For those of you not familiar with it. This is the equation that shows mathematically the number of alien civilizations that must exist. You have probably heard of it at some time. Usually when discussing UFOs in a conversation, someone inevitably says "oh yeah. They've proved mathematically that there are aliens, because of the vast numbers of......" blah blah and so on.
Here is the actual equation - N= R* x Fp x Ne x Fl x Fi x Fc x L
Here is the explanation of the factors
N is the number of intelligent civilizations in our milky way galaxy able to communicate with us

R* is the rate of formation of stars suitable for the development of life
This is valid. We can basically count how many stars in the milky way are similar to ours.

Fp is the fraction of those stars with planetary systems
We are just beginning to detect planets around other stars, never mind planetary systems. So far we can only detect very large planets like Jupiter. So getting an accurate fraction for this will be possible in the near future, but is not possible right now.

Ne is the numbers of planets per system suitable for life
In any way, shape or form could we know how may of the planets that are out there are suitable for life? Of course not. Remember, we don't even know how many planets or systems are out there, never mind what defines whether or not they are suitable for life. As if you can say 2 out of five planets are suitable for life. We cant even begin to comprehend what it would take to figure out this fraction.

Fl is the fraction of planets that are suitable where life actually appears
Since we have no idea how life actually begins (there are guesses, but if we knew the exact process, we could duplicate it) how can we give a fraction on life actually beginning, when we don't know exactly how it begins.

Fi is the fraction of life bearing planets where intelligent life actually emerges
As if we know the chances that life will eventually become intelligent life. What is it 33.3677 percent ? 68.2 percent ? 3.222 percent? How would you even begin to come up with that number?

Fc is The fraction of these intelligent civilizations that release detectable signs of their existence.
So somehow we know that if there are 247 intelligent civilizations, that 129 of them are sending messages to us. Again how do you come up with a fraction for this?

L is Lenth of time that these civilizations release these detectable signs into space
As if we can not only can we figure out how many intelligent civilizations there are, we can figure out how long they will last sending radio signals.

The SETI institute actually uses this formula to prove to the rest of us that there are aliens trying to talk to us.
Don't get me wrong, I love to imagine there are other beings out there. I would love to experience Close Encounters for myself. I will not say it is impossible. Anything is possible. I will however say, that we can not predict the probability of intelligent life out there with any accuracy. So just because there are billions and billions of stars out there, it doesn't mean anything (except that everyone can have one named after you for $62.95). We only know of one that contains life. And you can't come up with any type of statistics when you only know of one. This formula is the most gross case of accumulative error, I have ever seen. It basically says, lets take something we have no idea of knowing and multiply it by something else we have no idea of knowing, do this four or five times and then we will know how many civilizations are out there trying to talk to us. I am not even against SETI getting some moneys to monitor for aliens. Just dont tell me you already know how many there are before you have heard from any of them.

Weekend Update

An update on the twins.
We heard Lilly laugh for the first time on Monday night. She kept giggling everytime Jen spoke to her in a silly voice. Might not sound like much, but how it sends a pleasure chill down your spine to hear your childs happiness in the form a giggle for the first time. She seems far less fussy these days. She tries so hard to talk, making all kinds of coo sounds. I sit for hours with her having imaginary conversations. She just puts so much effort into communication that I have to let her think its working by responding with "oh, I understand". It keeps her yapping anyway. Sometimes when something else catches my attention and she notices I am not paying attention to her, she lets out a big yelp to get my focus where it should be..... on her.
Josh must weigh a ton by now, making his little sister seem light. I feel like I'm picking up a six year old. He is not quite laughing yet, but lets out little grunts when he is being tickled. He is becomming a serious momma's boy. Dad can make him smile when he is happy, but Mom can make him quiet when he is fussy. He looks so much like my dad. No one else has those floppy ears. Josh coos all the time too, but with a little less variety of sounds. The changing table seems to be Disney land to him, thats where he does most of his talking and smiling.
Not a day goes by that Jens doesn't asks me if these babies are real. They sleep a good 8 hours at night giving Jen and I some well needed rest. They are truely a dream come true.

Disclaimer

I hope anyone reading this blog understands that this blog contains my personal opinions. This blog is not directed at any individual(s). I am not trying to convert anyone. A blog is a forum for someone to speak their mind and conduct healthy debate. It is in no way meant to insult anyone, discredit anyone, or make anyone feel uncomfortable. If it does any of these, then I have a solution.... Dont read it. If you wish to be taken off my distributuion list so you don't have to keep getting E mailed, just let me know and I will be happy to do so. If you disagree with something I say and it pisses you off, put a comment for your opinion. Let everyone know what a fool I am. Wont be the first time I have been wrong, definately wont be the last. If you know me, then you know that my mind can be changed. I consider myself pretty open minded. But if your sitting there thinking to yourself, this guy is writing this blog just to piss me off or offend me, then guess what.......Your so Vein.... You probibly think this blog is about you!

Of Mice or Men ?

We value the mouse more than we value the human. It s insane! Read this headline - http://www.news.wisc.edu/11985.html This pretty much sums up where we are heading as a species. Two controveral subjects in the media, embryonic stem cell research and using animals for science. You can see which one wins out. I guess were more worried about the rath of animal rights activists than we are about killing humans. Does someone actually read this headline and go " Oh thank God they figured out a way to do research on human embryos without killing any mice"?

Deep Thoughts

Did God feel Pain when Jesus was nailed to the cross? When I watch the "Passion of the Christ" I have to wonder about it. "The Passion" was a great movie. The only part I don't like about it is how badly Jesus was beaten. Not because of the violence, but for two reasons. One is that if Ponchus Pilot gave an order to Roman solders to beat someone, they would of followed his orders to a T. I don't think they would go to far beating someone to death if they knew they would have to answer to the highest local Roman authority. The other reason I don't like the extent of the beating is because it seems to negate the impact of dying on the cross. In this movie the dying on the cross was just adding insult to injury (literally). It appeared that Jesus was already dead (given a day or two) weather they crucified him or not. I always believed the actual crucifixion was what actually killed Jesus.
So back to the original question, did God feel pain when Jesus was crucified? I think I would have to say yes. Could this be making it a sacrifice for us, not just from Jesus, but from God? I suppose an argument could be made that God, being all powerful, could accomplish sacrificing his son without feeling pain. Or could he? Is there somehow some laws that even God must comply. Or perhaps he doesn't have to, but he makes himself comply to give some type of order to the universe and purpose to things even for him. You could go in circles trying to answer this. Perhaps when he made Abraham almost kill his own son, he was making him understand what he was going to go through.
Imagine some murderer taking your son out into the woods and nailing him to a tree and torturing him while he died. Is this how God felt? Perhaps we shouldn't discuss Gods feelings as if somehow we can understand, but it sure does add something else to someone dying for the sins of the world (as if that isn't enough). That man has a mother and a father, and a FATHER.